Chapter I - Part III - The Tiniest Lie

I sat at my Physics table, laughing with Elizabeth who I call Eliza. I was in an okay mood, but overall today was not good.
I glanced over to Pearl's table, and I saw her smiling, yet with that aura of boredom around her. She raised her hand and Mr. McCoy called on her. She politely asked if she could go to the nurse's office.
A pang of hurt resounded in my soul.
I hated how she would do this, fake sickness.
It made me angry.
Why?
Is school not... worth it?
I never understood.

...                                                                     


Don't you think lying is bad?
Isn't it just... wrong?
I understand lying for face, but... just for your own benefit?
Just because you don't feel like doing something you know you should and you should but you don't feel like doing at that moment, you should be allowed?
...
The tiniest lie can be the hardest to face...


~This Rain Cloud

Chapter I - Part II - The Tax on Listening

I pointed at my friend Pearl.
"Don't leave."
I knew she wouldn't, but I had been ditched by her before as a joke, and I didn't feel like it today.
I turned to my locker and began to shovel my binder, backpack, and gym clothes out. I forced it all into my backpack, then shrugged it over my artsy hoodie.
I turned to face where I had left Pearl talking to Hannah.
Both were at the end of the hall, still talking, walking away.
I closed my locker.
I knew she wouldn't...

Chapter I - Part I - The Pain of Standing in the Rain

Hey. Thought you should know...

                                                                                                                                                   

Today I went to school for the start of the second week. 

I went to health.

We did an activity in the textbook...

There was this sentence... I read it like this, "Do you believe others see you?"

I had quickly looked back to confirm my reading.

Actually, the sentence should have been read as, "How do you believe others see you?"

...

What does this misreading say about me, non-existent viewers?

~This Rain Cloud

I clicked the post button, sighing deeply. I had homework to do.

I got out my history notes and opened up power point. As I typed and surfed the web, my mind began to drift away, back to earlier today....

There I was, sitting on a counter in the computer lab, listening to the first meeting of the Lit Mag. Staff. I kept fidgeting, not knowing why I couldn't get comfortable. I just couldn't. I just kept fidgeting through the entire meeting. Then we were dismissed, and everyone rushed for the door. I sat on the counter. Two other people were in line to talk to the teacher. I waited. One person. Just a bit longer. The door opened and in walked my English teacher. He walked up to the computer-lab teacher and continued to converse. I raised my hand, and opened my mouth, but closed it and sighed. They had walked away...

I trudged down the stairs, the halls quite silent. My footsteps echoed slightly. I smiled sadly, it sounded nice, like a slow song beat. Takka, takka, takka... I watched my feet as I continued down the stairs.

I came to the double doors for the first floor. I stopped in front of them. I lifted my head and adjusted my hat. I cherished the quiet I knew that was going to be broken. I lifted my hand, placing my palm on the large window of one of the doors. It felt cool to the touch... I wondered if my skin felt that way...

I pushed open the door. 

The air was pulled around the door. It pushed at my face. I continued walking. Hearing the sounds of the first floor was comfortable and saddening at the same time. I pushed straight out the front doors.

And there I was. Standing, in the rain. Just a drizzle, but enough to make puddles. Alone, once again. All alone in front of the school, the rain pelting the ground. I felt the sadness wash me again. A wave. Pushing me again. Under, over, under. Breath, none, breath. Puddles kicked up by my new shoes. I could see the muddy water already staining the white. The water pouring down felt good on my breath. Yet, I could feel the dread it carried. No wonder pain and rain rhyme.

My van pulled up.

I sighed, and pulled myself in.

Remembering can be hard, definitively when that something involves negative emotions. 

I picked myself up from my chair. I turned and headed upstairs for some much needed sleep...